E.A.S.T. Art Party

These are some photos from local artists' work that I had the pleasure of taking at the East Austin Studio Tour (E.A.S.T.) launch party 

I was fortunate enough to find this artist on Intstagram (@evilpanda). He's always posting charming little sketches. I love his work.

This was one of my favorite pieces at the party. A steal at only $90. I spoke to the artist for a bit, but of course I forgot her name. I wonder if she sold it. 

Another instagram buddy's handiwork. Check out his website. Tan leather is a huge staple of mine.

And lastly the outfit. I was so tired after this party, this is only picture of me I remembered to take. I'm wearing American Apparel (skirt, dress worn as top) and Urban Outfitters (vest).

LOVE

This season always makes me think about what love means to me. Not just the feeling, because feelings are so fleeting, but what it really is. Corinthians talks extensively about love. Love is patient, love is kind..etc. The underlying message of that verse is that love is something that you give. To give is an action. Love is therefore an action. 

Now, that I've dabbled in my daily philosophical deduction exercise, I'll get to my point. Love is something that I'm constantly working out. I'm not a perfect lover. I have my shortcomings, but I know the way to come to truly understand an issue is to think about it, to meditate on it, to practice it. 

I look to Jesus to show me how. I've been reading the book of Matthew very deliberately to make sure I take in every ounce of truth I can get out those scriptures. To truly love Jesus I must know Him. And to truly know love I must know Him. It's like a continuum. To love love, I  must first know love. Confused yet? Basically, Jesus is the answer. I have to know Him, and His message to truly appreciate what it is He is offering. LOVE. 

I've started to consciously practice really loving in all of my relationships with people as well. I give my time, my energy, and my resources to those I claim to love. Not only that, but I seek to know them. To truly know their hearts.  This isn't easy, but the payoff is amazing. Nothing can substitute for true intimacy in a relationship. 

What I thought was love in my last romantic relationship, was a shadowy sham of what could've been. But as they say what could've been, would've been, if it should've been. I'm glad I've taken to the time to learn what love is, and how to go about loving, so that next time, I'll take my time and delight in the gift of true intimacy. True love. 

The picture is of my mother and I around this time last year. She has been an awesome example of love in action for me. I'm wearing a custom dress, Rachel Roy shoes (similar here), and a vintage purse. 

Art in Austin

I attended an event at a very beautiful art museum, located right near campus, with my friend a couple weeks ago. It was my first time there. I will definitely be back.

My Everything

Christianity isn't my religion. I'm not religious. What I have is more than practiced rituals, empty chants, or a self-righteous defense mechanism to esteem myself while I put others down. My Faith is a relationship. It's close, it's personal, it's intimate. It's worth more than anything. As humans, we need relationships. God made us in his image, so God Himself is a relational God. That's how He works. Our relationship with Him is what blesses us and blesses Him. I used to look for this type of all encompassing relationship in the world, in man. I yearned for true love, someone I could depend on, someone who wouldn't leave me, someone who understood me and my faults. What I've come to figure out is that the desire I had in my heart wasn't wrong. We all yearn deeply for God even if we don't know that it's Him we're searching for. We want that one person who can change our lives for the better, but I was and a lot of people are aiming their affections at unworthy targets. 

What I love most about God is that because of who He is, He can be my everything. Being that He is the giver of all good things (James 1:5) , and He will not hold any good thing from me (Psalms 84:11), I lack nothing. 

He is my provider (Philippians 4:19)

He is my helper (Psalms 54:4)

He is my joy (Psalms 43:4)

He is my strength (Psalms 28:7)

He is my guide (Isaiah 58:11)

He is my comforter (Psalms 34:18)

He is my protector (Psalms 91)

He is my confidence (Isaiah 41:10)

He is my rescuer (Lamentations 3:58)

He is my power ( Philippians 4:13)

He is truthful (Numbers 23:19)

He is my peace (John 14:27)

He is my One true love (Romans 8:37-39)

I used to look for just one of these things in people, or a combination that I could get by with. I looked to family, dating relationships, friends, but no one can do what God has done for me. I used to feel hopeless, like I'd never get what I needed and desperately desired, but God showed me there was a better way. I had a choice, and it was a good one. I had Him. I had everything! Seek God, not because of what He will do for you. Seek because you are His (Psalms 139:13) , because He knows you better than you know yourself ( Luke 12:7), because He loved you first (John 3:16). We are all God's children. Just like our parents want us to show them love and that we appreciate them, and that we value them not because of what they can do for us but because they love us, God wants the same thing. God wants our hearts. He wants us to know Him. He wants us to be secure in the fact that true love is already ours, and it will be ours forever (Matthew 24:35). 

Late Afternoon

A little bit of old and new in today's post. Shirtdress is from Forever 21. It's so comfy, but still looks chic. Vintage belt and necklace. Gifted shoes and bag. Michael Kors link bracelet. Gifted cuff.

Press

Faith is a process and patience is something that must be practiced. So many of us (including me) expect fixes to be easy, and our gratification to be instant. But the things that take the longest to learn are usually our hardest and most valuable lessons. 

If everything in our lives really is positive (I personally believe it is as stated here) then even the bad things that happen to us serve a good purpose. Being a Christian doesn't exempt you from dealing with difficult situations, people, or times in your life. I believe Christianity gives us a positive way of dealing with difficulties when they arise. Sure, we could ignore them, try to run away from them, even let them overtake us completely, but by taking positive action we show ourselves and others that it's possible to face hard things and become stronger because of them. Paul says in Phillipians 3:14 that he must "press on toward the end of the race [life] and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us". Pressing on implies going through, not giving up, and straining for what you want (the prize). 

By accepting ourselves (and others) where they are on their journey, it is easier to have patience with our lives as they are right now. So you're not perfect, so they're not perfect, so your job, house, car, clothes etc. aren't perfect. So what.  Looking at everything as an opportunity to become better, different, stronger is a lot more helpful than looking at everything as a burden. I've had (and still have) problems in my life that I used to let hold me back and keep me in a negative state of mind. I've tried avoiding them, ignoring them, and even just wallowing in self-pity. None of that helped me at all. Now, I consciously, everyday if necessary, remind myself that my circumstances are opportunities for growth. By growing in Christianity, we find the patience and persistence to deal with anything that life throws our way. We can learn to be affected by our circumstances (whatever they may be) for  better and not for worse. That's true power. 

Prayer for effectiveness

I wrote the following prayer today in response to my need to become more effective. I'm a strong believer in the power of prayer, and that a healthy prayer life is essential to a close relationship with God and wholeness in all areas of your life. Don't believe the hype, God is not dead, things are not random, and we are not all just floating in space by coincidence. God created the Universe, if you sincerely come to Him looking for help, why wouldn't He move to help you? Phillipians 4:6 states: " Be anxious for nothing. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for everything." God already knows what you need. He knows you better than you know yourself. He's simply waiting on you to lean on Him. My source for writing this prayer can be found here.

Lord,

I pray that my efforts match my motivation and enthusiasm, and that I attract all the resources and support I need to create effortless change in my life. Lord, help me to stay centered. Help me to stay strong. Help me to stay motivated. Help me to practice the positive change I'd like to see in myself daily. Lord, You came so that I could have life and have it more abundantly. Help me to live out the promises in Your word everyday of my life. I pray this in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. One God in Heaven forever, Amen.

Instructions on how to get more out of your prayer can be found here and here.

Breezy summer day

Blue and green are two of my favorite colors. I'm a Cancer/ Pisces Rising so it only follows. I love the reflection of the city on the water. 

Focus on what you don't have

Sounds sort of contrary to the other writings on this blog, yes? Well, I'm not talking about physical things. I'm talking about the things that your spirit is lacking. Part of the human condition is being in a state of need. We need other people. We need food. We need healthy relationships. It is important to focus on what you need and what you lack spiritually if you want to become a whole person. Notice, I didn't say perfect. The goal is never perfection, but wholeness. Ignoring what you need spiritually is as detrimental to your health as not eating or drinking water. It's like working on an empty stomach, or trying to concentrate in school when all you can think about is how thirsty you are.

So what are you in need of? Love, patience, peace, joy, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness or self-control? These are the things that our spirits need to lead productive and happy lives. The universe operates on a principle of reciprocity. Equal and opposite reactions. Therefore, our very lives are based around a cycle give and take. We must give these things in order to receive them, and we must receive them because they are necessary to leading a productive life. But how do you give what you don't have? You can't. It's not possible. So how do you get it? Ask God. God is the Giver of all good things (James 1:17) , and He has an abundant supply of all those things you are in need of (Galatians 5:22-23).  We all need somebody, and He is the somebody that is big enough for all of us to receive from.

So often we look to others who are just as flawed as us to fill the hole in our spirit, and to make us whole. Like I said before, you can't give what you don't have. Those efforts are futile. God being the Creator and Giver of all good things is the only One who can truly give you what you need. However, the choice to lean on Him for what you need is yours alone.

Becoming whole will attract others who can receive what you have to give them, and give of themselves to you in return. Going through life with an empty stomach isn't impossible, but it holds you back from living your best life. The same applies to your spirit. Go get what you need.

I'm not over you

A few trends I'm just not over yet. I'm not a very trendy person, I like what I like. However, when trends fall in line with my personal aesthetic taste, I indulge. 

1. Peplum. Some people regard this cut with quite a bit of scorn. I believe I like it because it reminds me of a time when skirts were bustled, and worn over crinoline. They're so delightfully feminine.

2. Colored denim. I love these BCBG jeans. This color will work well in many a season to come.

3. Glittery pumps. I hate pumps. I'm just not very goo at walking in them, but I love sparkle! These Rachel Roy (love her!!) pumps will be a long time favorite. 

What are some trends you can't get over?

Energy

We all are given 24 hours in a day, it's a simple truth. We all have an allotted amount of energy to use in that day. Although it does seem like some may be blessed with more natural energy, we all are blessed with free will to choose how we will utilize that energy for the next 24 hours.

Another simple truth is that life can be painful. People don't give us what we desperately need. They let us down. They hurt us, sometimes intentionally, but most of the times not. In the midst of our pain, a lot of us fail to see the reality of the situation:  People who hurt people aren't really trying to hurt you, they are hurt themselves. Instead, we take it to heart. Start to internalize what people want us to believe about ourselves. Then we start hurting other people because we know from personal experience that people just want to hurt people. False.

I wrote before about how good the truth feels in comparison to lies, here. By clinging to our pain we shut out the truth, which is what God says about us and how he feels about us. He says his unfailing love surrounds us. That we are his beloveds and we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14-16). Wallowing in self-pity is a rejection of God's truth.

 The Bible says you overcome evil with good. That love covers all sin. Each day we get a choice. We can choose to believe what people say about us or what God says about us. We can choose to feed our pain, or take steps toward healing. Is recovery easy, is it quick? No. Anything that is wounded badly takes time to heal, including your spirit. It's not easy to suffer and it's not easy to recover, so you might as well put energy into something that will bless you rather than curse you.

By reading what God says about you, you overcome the evil that has been done to you. His Holy love has healing power. In Psalm 107:19-21 it says " Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble , and he saved them from their distress; he sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from destruction [emotional and physical]. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wonderful works to humankind." Getting to know God through his word can and will release you from pain.

 Feeling sorry for yourself is a rather selfish act if you think about it. SELF- pity. It's tempting to become so focused on you, that you forget all of the other people in the world who may have it a lot worse than you. Maybe they don't have it worse, but putting your energy into doing good for others will ultimately bless you. Use your energy where it is most effective. You won't have time to think of yourself and your problems. That's God's job anyway. He's good at what he does.


P.S. Like music? Check out this song from Rapture. Just a little reminder that it takes times to be a (wo)man.

It's All Good

Remember that lame 90's saying? Well, in my humble opinion, it's one of the most underrated, understated, declarations of the century. I'll explain.

When you feel sad, lonely, depressed, anxious, bothered, does it feel good? Does it feel right? Of course not. That's why these feelings are assigned the names that they are. We inherently know that our natural state of being is not supposed to be anything other than happy, content, and at peace. Those are states of being that feel good and right to us. What feels good and right is usually the truth, right? So the truth is it's all supposed to be good. What's it? Everything.

I know. How could everything possibly be good? Especially, since by the looks of things everything seems so bad. Evil, hatred, jealousy, cruelty, and pain seem to swarm around us like hive of angry bees.
Still, we all feel that something is amiss. That this isn't really the way things are supposed to be. This isn't God's plan. Yesterday, I wrote about thoughts creating our reality for better or  worse. This is essentially what has happened on a world wide scale. People who do evil, who seek to hurt others, to put them down (including themselves!!) have decided to buy into to the lie (falsehood, illusion, mendacity, forgery, and deception) that this is the way things are supposed to be. This is how the world works. This thinking has shaped our global reality. This is what the enemy would have you to believe is normal so he can steal, kill, and destroy your life (John 10:10). However, if one simply takes a look at the cross, what does it look like? A positive sign! The symbol that stands for Christianity itself screams that everything really is all good. Everything is going to be okay. Jesus came so we could have life, and have life more abundantly. By following Him and His Word we are set free (John 8:31-32). Free from fear, doubt, and insecurities. We all know the freedom found in truth. The truth that all men are created equal, the truth that love overcomes evil, the truth that a positive attitude leads to a positive life, etc. Christianity sets us free by letting us live out our lives how they were meant to be lived. How God planned for them to be lived. In perfect freedom.

If everything really is all good, then why do bad things happen? What good purpose do they serve? They teach us. Teach us to not make the same mistake next time. Teach us about ourselves. Teach us to be stronger.  Teach us how to love. Teach us that we can overcome something horrible that wasn't our fault, so then we can tell someone else that it's possible for them to do the same thing. There are so many things life can teach us, and since we are all here God has something special to teach each one of us. The Bible plainly states that ALL things work together for the good of those who love the Lord (Romans 8:28). One thing I know is God doesn't lie. He can't. Something about being the holy of holies or something like that. Seriously though, if anyone can take a negative and turn it into a positive, He can. He will give you beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:1-3). Even if you're skeptical, this has to sound better than anything else that's going on out there that promises you peace and happiness. Has anything in this world been able to consistently do that as of yet? Give God a try.

It's All In Your Mind

I have a problem. I complain. A lot. The Bible says we overcome by our testimony (confession), so there is mine. I challenged myself today to not complain about anything, not even once. I didn't even make it out of my front door.  Words and thoughts are so powerful. I'm a firm believer in shaping my own reality, so being aware of my tendency to cling to the negative rather than positive points me to a much broader issue. A cycle of negative thinking. That's no way to live. Every time I caught myself complaining or about to complain, I made a point to replace the negative thought with something positive , e.g., "Ugh! Austin is so hot!"... "It's a beautiful, sunny day!".

I went to a body sculpting class and this tiny, I'd guess S. American by her accent, woman of 50ish just murdered muscles in my body that I'd forgotten I even had. Armed with a little exercise ball and 2 lb weights (!!!) she inflicted levels of physical pain such that I've never experienced prior nor hence. She said before we started that many people leave her class. As soon as she said that, I made up my mind that I was at the very least going to get through the end. Sure, I looked at the clock a few (or several) times. Meanwhile, she plowed through reps while I took a rest about every 5 minutes. I finished though. And I'm going back. I want to go to that class until it gets easier. If she can do it then I can make it through an entire class too.

By making up your mind and keeping it set you change your world. I made one decision, and as a result I did things I didn't know were possible for me to do an hour before that class started. I could've easily walked out, got some fro-yo, and enjoyed the rest of my hot (sunny) Texas day, but I did the hard thing.  It's so easy to complain. To find the negative. The world we live in almost encourages it. If I want to be happy, stable, and unshaken on a daily basis I have to find a way to deal with life as it comes. Romans 12:2 states "Be conformed not to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind (thoughts), so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect." God's will is not for us to be upset about every little thing. We were built for hard. We were built to be happy (content) in spite of what's going on around us. That is His will, and I'm going to prove it to myself.

Eggplant Parmesan

Ingredients: 

1 large eggplant sliced into rounds

1 roma tomato sliced 

3 cloves of garlic minced

1 cup of fresh basil leaves

2 cups of shredded parmesan 

1 cups of shredded mozzarella 

1/3 cup of olive oil 

salt and pepper 

favorite spaghetti sauce

Italian breadcrumbs 

Skillet, 13x9 rectangular pan, square baking pan

Directions: 

In a large skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat. Cook all of eggplant rounds in oil until noticeably softened. Place cooked slices on a plate and set aside. 

Place breadcrumbs in a small bowl. Season with salt and pepper. You can add cheese to your coating if you'd like. Place each slice of eggplant in the coating, covering both sides and lay flat on rectangular pan. 

Heat oven to 400° and bake each side of the eggplant covered in coating for about 10 minutes on each side. Slices should be noticeably browned. 

Take your square pan and line the bottom with coated eggplant slices until completely covered. Prepare baking dish in the following order: Eggplant, tomato slice, sprinkle of garlic, basil, parmesan, and mozzarella. The top of your dish should be covered with only basil and parmesan. 

Bake for 20-30 min at 400° until cheese is browned.  Serve over pasta with more sauce as needed. 

Something Unexpected

The daily temperature here in Texas is still averaging 100 degrees, but personally I'm ready for fall. The dress I'm wearing is a great little summer number, though (H&M). I'm wearing it with a pale pink slip (Free People). While it does look very sweet on it's own, I'm all about layering. The tuxedo jacket (Willow & Clay) and moto-boots (Naturalizer) add unexpected dimension to a rather simple dress.

Letting Go

Today I took a step of faith. I decided facing my fears, and realizing my hope of something more was more valuable than temporary comfort. Someone once told me faith is like a muscle. You have to exercise it. The first time it may be painful, hard, and strenuous. However, with consistent dedication exercising your body or your faith becomes easier. It becomes routine.

A beautiful and lively girl I knew had never dated in her 23 year young life. She is not me, but I can relate to her as you will soon see. She had never experienced any social situation involving the opposite sex except the members of her family. At the time we spoke, she found herself at a crossroad. Soon, she would be in a new city far from family and close friends to begin a new chapter in her life. She expressed her deep desire to finally be open to the possibility of meeting a friend if nothing more, but her utter inexperience in this arena left her feeling frozen in place.

In order to get what she really wanted, it would require being uncomfortable for some time at first. She would have to have a new sense of faith in herself. The faith that she could do it, that she would be successful, and that God had someone special in mind just for her ( she did want to get married one day after all). Being a 40-year-old virgin spinster was an alternative, but not one of the attractive variety. So, I told her to take a chance. Have faith. I should've been telling myself the same thing. The Bible says "Faith without works is dead". Without movement, there can be no change. She (and I) had to make a move.

Her story may seem like not a big deal to some of us who have had experience in the dating game, talking to the opposite sex just comes naturally. Still, I can't help but to sympathize as I find myself of the edge of a similar precipice. I'm not turning back, and I won't remain stagnant, I'm ready to make a move forward.

A favorite teacher of mine loves to use the phrase "Do it afraid!". Psalms 32 says that God has a plan to guide you along the best pathway for your life and that his unfailing love surrounds you. Feeling unsure is natural, but I am not going to let my uncertainty paralyze me or keep me in a place of discontent. Why should I? I don't have to have all the answers, God does.

I remember a time when I was so devastated, I didn't think I'd ever make it to this point. For anyone feeling that way today, take heart. Psalm 34 states "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed". I found this scripture on a whim, looking for a little solace before I finished writing this post. It's instantly become one of my favorites because of its undeniable truth. I know because God did it for me one night back in September just last year. But that's another story.

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