Yesterday, I finished reading the book of Matthew. I was compelled in to reading it in it's entirety sometime last fall. Immediately, I became captivated by the breadth of knowledge and revelations on the pillars of this religion I've committed my life to for the past few years that I'd been completely ignorant of.
I'm not a proud person. I know my own faults. The way I work (or use to work), for better or for worse, is that I'm very able to put my whole heart into a thing, love it in it's entirety, and worry about the details later (sometimes not at all). Jesus, for example, is an individual that I've always accepted as my Lord and Savior, someone that I loved dearly, some that I knew preached a message of love and compassion, instead of hate and unmercifulness. For me (the me before I finished this gospel), that was enough.
As you might have guessed, this tendency has gotten me into trouble sometime. In my adolescence, I accepted best friends, and love interests whole heartedly without really delving into the details. Without taking the time to build that trust base, that knowledge of who they truly were, and what it was they stood for. These types of engagements will almost always bring sorrow. Shallow relationships effect you negatively whether you're in a relationship with an individual who means you any good OR an individual who means you harm. The harmful part is obvious, you get blindsided by who this individual really is, and they could hurt. The disadvantage to the relationship meant for your good might be less obvious. This negatively effects you because you miss out on how wide, how deep, and how long the good can really get. And if you don't take the time to dig deeper, then you'll never know for yourself. This is a tragedy, because no one can confer depth to you, it must be obtained for yourself.
You see, in taking my sweet (and I mean sah-weeeet) time to read this book, I let myself get to know Jesus for myself at my own pace. When I say I know Him, it's real and genuine. I know who He is for myself, and myself alone. I re-read passages, took long hiatuses from our encounters, but I always came back to finish the process.
The process and the details are just as important as the overall composite in order to gain understanding of a friend,or a lover... or a Savior. It's funny, I was having this same conversation with a friend a day ago, but as it relate's to biological concepts. I guess it's like they say, when it's the truth, it shows up everywhere.
I realize I may be slow in coming to this personal epiphany , but I'm growing at my own pace. And that's okay. I'm so so glad that I've got it now, and that the story of Jesus' life brought this revelation to me.
The details are where you'll find the good stuff, the treasure, the pieces and parts worth carrying with you into your own being and your own life. This is the true source of connection.
I'm sure I'll write more about how the book of Matthew has affected me personally in the future, but for now I want to just digest the details. Maybe think on them some more, flip back through the pages and re-read my favorite parts. Meditate on them.
I know you've heard it in sermon after sermon (I now see that the message bears repeating), but GET TO KNOW JESUS FOR YOURSELF. It's ALL in the details.
