Halcyon Digest

Yesterday, I finished reading the book of Matthew. I was compelled in to reading it in it's entirety sometime last fall.  Immediately, I became captivated by the breadth of knowledge and  revelations on the pillars of this religion I've committed my life to for the past few years that I'd been completely ignorant of.

I'm not a proud person. I know my own faults. The way I work (or use to work), for better or for worse, is that I'm very able to put my whole heart into a thing, love it in it's entirety, and worry about the details later (sometimes not at all). Jesus, for example, is an individual that I've always accepted as my Lord and Savior, someone that I loved dearly, some that I knew preached a message of love and compassion, instead of hate and unmercifulness. For me (the me before I finished this gospel), that was enough.

As you might have guessed, this tendency has gotten me into trouble sometime. In my adolescence, I accepted best friends, and love interests whole heartedly without really delving into the details. Without taking the time to build that trust base, that knowledge of who they truly were, and what it was they stood for. These types of engagements will almost always bring sorrow. Shallow relationships effect you negatively whether you're in a relationship with an individual who means you any good OR an individual who means you harm. The harmful part is obvious, you get blindsided by who this individual really is, and they could hurt. The disadvantage to the relationship meant for your good might be less obvious. This negatively effects you because you miss out on how wide, how deep, and how long the good can really get. And if you don't take the time to dig deeper, then you'll never know for yourself. This is a tragedy, because no one can confer depth to you, it must be obtained for yourself.

You see, in taking my sweet (and I mean sah-weeeet) time to read this book, I let myself get to know Jesus for myself at my own pace. When I say I know Him, it's real and genuine. I know who He is for myself, and myself alone. I re-read passages, took long hiatuses from our encounters, but I always came back to finish the process.

The process and the details are just as important as the overall composite in order to gain understanding  of a friend,or a lover... or a Savior. It's funny, I was having this same conversation with a friend a day ago, but as it relate's to biological concepts. I guess it's like they say, when it's the truth, it shows up everywhere.

I realize I may be slow in coming to this personal epiphany , but I'm growing at my own pace. And that's okay. I'm so so glad that I've got it now, and that the story of Jesus' life brought this revelation to me.

The details are where you'll find the good stuff, the treasure, the pieces and parts worth carrying with you into your own being and your own life. This is the true source of connection.

I'm sure I'll write more about how the book of Matthew has affected me personally in the future, but for now I want to just digest the details. Maybe think on them some more, flip back through the pages and re-read my favorite parts. Meditate on them.

I know you've heard it in sermon after sermon (I now see that the message bears repeating), but GET TO KNOW JESUS FOR YOURSELF. It's ALL in the details.

Summertime Blues

Yesterday, I made the tastiest, moistest (decided it's a word for muffin purposes), flavorful and healthy blueberry muffins. I didn't think it was possible for a vegan, gluten free, and sugar free baked good to taste like this!

I love sweets, and this recipe allows me to indulge without overdoing it! Please enjoy! Recipe below

INGREDIENTS:

For the muffins:

1 chia seed egg (1/2 tbsp of chia seeds, 1 tbsp water)

1/2 cup almond milk

3-4 tablespoons 100% maple syrup

2 tablespoons oil (I  used grapeseed, canola would be fine too)

1 cup white rice flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 lemon for zest and juice

1/2 cup fresh blueberries

1teaspoon of cinnamon

1 teaspoon nutmeg

optional: walnuts

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat the oven to 425°F.
2. Lightly grease a 6-cup muffin tin.

Prepare the muffins:

1. In another small bowl, combine white rice flour, baking powder, salt, lemon zest and juice, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Carefully stir in blueberries and walnuts.
2. In a medium bowl, mix the "egg", milk and oil until well blended. 
3. Add in the dry ingredients and mix just until smooth.
4. Pour into the prepared muffin tin, filling each well about 2/3 full. Bake for 15-20 minutes until the edges are slightly browned. Allow muffins to cool for 5 minutes before removing from the tin.

I'm moving to Boston!

I'm moving at the end of the summer. End. I love that word. It means that something else is about to begin. Nothing ever really ends, it just becomes something else. Like the phoenix rising from the ashes. Like energy. Like the life force, or soul, that inhabits all of our bodies. In my opinion, endings are almost better than beginnings. You can't have a new beginning without first having an ending. Here is poem I wrote about endings. It's about transition, progression, and transformation.

Gentle Hands

Gentle hands

Virile appendage, begotten by the arm of this man

Beget and arrest

My genesis of blithe plans

For better or for worse

Maiden lips doth not purse

For it was never really in your hands

My Colors Are Blush and Bashful

E.A.S.T. Art Party

These are some photos from local artists' work that I had the pleasure of taking at the East Austin Studio Tour (E.A.S.T.) launch party 

I was fortunate enough to find this artist on Intstagram (@evilpanda). He's always posting charming little sketches. I love his work.

This was one of my favorite pieces at the party. A steal at only $90. I spoke to the artist for a bit, but of course I forgot her name. I wonder if she sold it. 

Another instagram buddy's handiwork. Check out his website. Tan leather is a huge staple of mine.

And lastly the outfit. I was so tired after this party, this is only picture of me I remembered to take. I'm wearing American Apparel (skirt, dress worn as top) and Urban Outfitters (vest).

LOVE

This season always makes me think about what love means to me. Not just the feeling, because feelings are so fleeting, but what it really is. Corinthians talks extensively about love. Love is patient, love is kind..etc. The underlying message of that verse is that love is something that you give. To give is an action. Love is therefore an action. 

Now, that I've dabbled in my daily philosophical deduction exercise, I'll get to my point. Love is something that I'm constantly working out. I'm not a perfect lover. I have my shortcomings, but I know the way to come to truly understand an issue is to think about it, to meditate on it, to practice it. 

I look to Jesus to show me how. I've been reading the book of Matthew very deliberately to make sure I take in every ounce of truth I can get out those scriptures. To truly love Jesus I must know Him. And to truly know love I must know Him. It's like a continuum. To love love, I  must first know love. Confused yet? Basically, Jesus is the answer. I have to know Him, and His message to truly appreciate what it is He is offering. LOVE. 

I've started to consciously practice really loving in all of my relationships with people as well. I give my time, my energy, and my resources to those I claim to love. Not only that, but I seek to know them. To truly know their hearts.  This isn't easy, but the payoff is amazing. Nothing can substitute for true intimacy in a relationship. 

What I thought was love in my last romantic relationship, was a shadowy sham of what could've been. But as they say what could've been, would've been, if it should've been. I'm glad I've taken to the time to learn what love is, and how to go about loving, so that next time, I'll take my time and delight in the gift of true intimacy. True love. 

The picture is of my mother and I around this time last year. She has been an awesome example of love in action for me. I'm wearing a custom dress, Rachel Roy shoes (similar here), and a vintage purse. 

Art in Austin

I attended an event at a very beautiful art museum, located right near campus, with my friend a couple weeks ago. It was my first time there. I will definitely be back.